{"id":2797,"date":"2018-07-25T09:39:18","date_gmt":"2018-07-25T06:39:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.annebebekkulubu.com\/?p=2797"},"modified":"2018-07-25T17:10:57","modified_gmt":"2018-07-25T14:10:57","slug":"elalem-ne-der-kaygisi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/elalem-ne-der-kaygisi\/","title":{"rendered":"“Elalem ne der” kayg\u0131s\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"

Elalem kimdir?<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131na yerle\u015fmi\u015f, hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n merkezine koydu\u011funuz, yorum yapmalar\u0131na m\u00fcsaade etti\u011finiz, onaylamalar\u0131n\u0131 bekledi\u011finiz, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck j\u00fcrisi olsa gerekir. Siz m\u00fcsaade etti\u011finiz kadar hayat\u0131n\u0131za girerler, dedikodu yaparlar, ele\u015ftirirler kendilerinde her \u015feye kar\u0131\u015fma hakk\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrler. Peki kimdir bu elalem<\/strong>: \u00e7evrenizde yer alan amca, day\u0131, hala, teyze, dede, nine, kuzen, ye\u011fen, kom\u015fu, arkada\u015f, patron, \u00e7evrendeki hayat\u0131n\u0131za bir \u015fekilde dahil olan hatta dahil olmadan dolayl\u0131 yoldan size ula\u015fabilen herkes elalemdir.<\/span><\/p>\n

Beklentiler sizi yormas\u0131n\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Evlendi\u011finizde her \u015feyin ray\u0131nda ve planl\u0131 bir \u015fekilde ilerlemesi beklenir. \u00a0Evinizin temizli\u011fi, al\u0131\u015fveri\u015fi, misafir a\u011f\u0131rlamas\u0131, kendinize vakit ay\u0131rman\u0131z belirli plan dahilinde ilerlerken \u00e7ocuk sahibi oldu\u011funuz da durumun de\u011fi\u015fece\u011fi akl\u0131n\u0131za dahi gelmeyebilir. Oysa evlilik, \u00e7ocuk sahibi olmak hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcde de\u011fi\u015fece\u011fi anlam\u0131na gelir.<\/strong> E\u011fitim hayat\u0131n\u0131z veya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma hayat\u0131n\u0131zdan sonra evlili\u011fe al\u0131\u015fma s\u00fcreci, beraber hayat\u0131 payla\u015fma ne kadar zorsa y\u00fcr\u00fctmekte bir o kadar zorken, d\u00fczeni oturtup o do\u011frultu da ilerlemek de bir o kadar zordur. D\u0131\u015far\u0131dan davulun sesi ho\u015f gelir derler, ya\u015fayan bilir.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2018Elalem her \u015feyi bilir.\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

Evlili\u011fe al\u0131\u015fma s\u00fcreci i\u00e7erisinde hamile kald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 \u00f6\u011frendi\u011finiz andan itibaren farkl\u0131 bir tela\u015f sarar i\u00e7inizi ve herkeste hemen hemen ayn\u0131 belirtiler g\u00f6sterse de i\u00e7inizde can ta\u015f\u0131yor oldu\u011funuzu bilmek yapaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131z davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 iki, \u00fc\u00e7 kere d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmek demek oldu\u011funu bilirsiniz. \u00c7evrenizdeki insanlar genelde sizi anlamazlar ve ele\u015ftiride bulunurlar. <\/span><\/p>\n

-Ben b\u00f6yle de\u011fildim<\/strong>. Kendi i\u015fimi kendim yapt\u0131m. Hi\u00e7 mide bulant\u0131m olmad\u0131. Sen ne kadar pimpiriklisin.<\/span><\/p>\n

–Benim k\u0131z\u0131m hamileli\u011fini \u00e7ok rahat ge\u00e7irdi<\/strong>. Hem misafir a\u011f\u0131rlad\u0131, hem kendine hem o\u011fluma bakt\u0131.<\/span><\/p>\n

–Ay\u015fe\u2019nin gelini \u00e7ok ak\u0131ll\u0131, bak hem \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor hem evin i\u015fine yeti\u015fiyor \u00fcstelikte hamile\u2026<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Gibi gibi konu\u015fmalar\u0131 etraf\u0131n\u0131zda \u00e7ok\u00e7a duyars\u0131n\u0131z duymad\u0131ysan\u0131z haz\u0131r olun. \u2018Elalem, her \u015feyi bilir.\u2019<\/strong> potansiyelini evvelden korumu\u015ftur. \u00a0Hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n her alan\u0131nda kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kan elalem evlilik, hamilelik ve \u00e7ocuk b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrken de kar\u015f\u0131n\u0131za \u00e7\u0131kacakt\u0131r. Kulak asmamay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmelisiniz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu elalem vampir gibi insan\u0131n kan\u0131n\u0131 emecek kadar hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n i\u00e7ine girer. Elalemle m\u00fccadele ederken psikolojik \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcnt\u00fcye girebilirsiniz.<\/strong> Tek savunman\u0131z duymamak duymamazl\u0131ktan gelmek olmal\u0131 \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bilmelisiniz onlar asl\u0131nda motivasyonunuzu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrecek, siz g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fcz\u00fc kaybetti\u011finizde de biz biliyorduk diyecekler. Kimseye bu s\u00f6z\u00fc s\u00f6yletmeyin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Elalemi memnun edemezsiniz<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hamileli\u011finiz s\u00fcresince ara\u015ft\u0131r\u0131p kendi bilgileriniz do\u011frultusunda hareket ettiniz<\/strong>, bazen yad\u0131rgand\u0131n\u0131z bazen de hayretle izlendiniz. \u0130\u015fleriniz aksad\u0131 ama bebe\u011finize iyi bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z i\u00e7in g\u00f6n\u00fcl rahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131n\u0131z. Do\u011fuma yak\u0131n hareketiniz k\u0131s\u0131tlansa da m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu\u011funca g\u00fcnl\u00fck hayat\u0131n i\u00e7inde oldunuz ama kafi gelmedi. <\/span><\/p>\n

Do\u011fum yapt\u0131n\u0131z<\/strong>, emzirmek i\u00e7in aman bebe\u011finiz g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcn\u00fcze al\u0131\u015fs\u0131n diye saatlerce oturup bebe\u011finizi kuca\u011f\u0131n\u0131zda tuttunuz, bacaklar\u0131n\u0131z \u015fi\u015fti, g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs u\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131z yara oldu \u00e7abalamaktan vazge\u00e7mediniz. Bebe\u011finiz g\u00fcn g\u00fcn b\u00fcy\u00fcrken kolik sanc\u0131lar\u0131nda kuca\u011f\u0131n\u0131zda rahatlatt\u0131n\u0131z, aman kuca\u011fa al\u0131\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131 oldu. Yorgunluktan emzirirken uyuyakald\u0131n\u0131z aman kokuna al\u0131\u015ft\u0131 sensiz uyuyamaz oldu. Siz en iyisi olsun diye \u00e7abalarken elalem hep bir kulp buldu.<\/span><\/p>\n

Ben olsam \u00f6yle yapmazdim diyenlere kulak asmay\u0131n\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ben olsam \u00f6yle yapmazd\u0131m, sen yanl\u0131\u015f yapt\u0131n. Ba\u015ftan tavr\u0131n\u0131 koyacakt\u0131n gibi konu\u015fmalar kendinizi sorgulaman\u0131za neden olsa da bunun ne kadar sa\u00e7ma oldu\u011funu sizi ele\u015ftirenlerin kendi hayatlar\u0131nda ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fczde anlayacaks\u0131n\u0131z. Terzi kendi s\u00f6k\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc dikemez<\/strong> hesab\u0131 gibi ba\u015fkalar\u0131na ak\u0131l vermek, kendi hayat\u0131ndaki problemleri \u00e7\u00f6zmekten daha kolay oldu\u011funu anlayacaks\u0131n\u0131z.<\/span><\/p>\n

Her anne m\u00fckemmeldir<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir bakm\u0131\u015fs\u0131n\u0131z tek \u00e7ocukla nas\u0131l i\u015fleri yeti\u015ftiremiyorsun diyenler, \u00e7ocu\u011fu olunca \u2018\u00e7o\u011fu zaman yemek yapam\u0131yorum haz\u0131r bir \u015feyler al\u0131p yiyoruz.\u2019<\/strong> dedi\u011fini duymu\u015fsunuzdur. Unutmay\u0131n! Normal \u015fartlar alt\u0131nda her anne m\u00fckemmeldir ve her \u00e7ocuk farkl\u0131d\u0131r. <\/strong>Hamilelik belirtileri ayn\u0131 olsa da her hamile \u00f6zeldir. \u00c7ocuklu\u011funuz, gen\u00e7li\u011finiz, evlili\u011finizin ilk y\u0131llar\u0131, hamileli\u011finiz ve \u00e7ocuk b\u00fcy\u00fct\u00fcrken ya\u015fad\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131z size \u00f6zel ve sizin kararlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 i\u00e7eriyor. Elaleme g\u00f6re \u015fekil vermeyin, elalemi kafan\u0131za takmay\u0131n.<\/span><\/p>\n

Hele ki \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 elalem ne der kayg\u0131s\u0131 ile b\u00fcy\u00fctmeyin.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Elalem kimdir? Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131na yerle\u015fmi\u015f, hayat\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n merkezine koydu\u011funuz, yorum yapmalar\u0131na m\u00fcsaade etti\u011finiz, onaylamalar\u0131n\u0131 bekledi\u011finiz, d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en b\u00fcy\u00fck j\u00fcrisi olsa gerekir. Siz m\u00fcsaade etti\u011finiz kadar hayat\u0131n\u0131za girerler, dedikodu yaparlar, ele\u015ftirirler kendilerinde her \u015feye kar\u0131\u015fma hakk\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcrler. Peki kimdir bu elalem: \u00e7evrenizde yer alan amca, day\u0131, hala, teyze, dede, nine, kuzen, ye\u011fen, kom\u015fu, arkada\u015f, patron, \u00e7evrendeki hayat\u0131n\u0131za bir […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":1081,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[2226,2225,306,2224,20,2227,240],"class_list":{"0":"post-2797","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-bebek","8":"tag-baskalari-ne-dusunur","9":"tag-dedikodu","10":"tag-depresyon","11":"tag-elalem-ne-der","12":"tag-evlilik","13":"tag-kaygi","14":"tag-stres"},"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/sasirmis-kadin.jpg?fit=626%2C626&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2797","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2797"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2797\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2797"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2797"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annebebekkulubu.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2797"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}